Part 24: PART TWENTY-THREE: BEEF CONSTRUCTION

I have to say, this next update was a hell of a lot easier to put together.


PART TWENTY-THREE: BEEF CONSTRUCTION



: What a feat that you've retrieved it!

: Oh, sure, look who's all chummy now that we've saved his butt from the fryer!

: I have no qualms about lending the torch to people such as you. Please use this holy flame to lead us from this evil road.

: All right! Let's hurry to the forest of the carnivorous trees!

: And save Raja!

: Yeah, that too, I guess.




So, for whatever reason, the inventory wants to call the Eclipse Torch a weapon. Why is this?



Oh, I guess that might be why. Much like the Laconian Rod, the Eclipse Torch casts a weaker version of St. Fire. I still can't complain; it gives Rune something to do other than defend and save up his skills.



: Oh, how I've missed you healing panel!

: Sure, don't tell it about those tiles in the Air Castle, you sleazy dog, you.

: Can we go visit Raja? I've been worried about him.

: For you? Absolutely.





: But with those nurses there, maybe the worst of times will also be the best of times...

: You just won't give up, will you!

: Wait, those espers are girls?

: I'm just as surprised as you.



: Thanks for handing me off like some sort of possession, jerk.



: Wo...wait, how did we get up here?

: I took the liberty of dragging you all to the Ice Digger. Time is of the essence, and we have a task to complete.



: I...have...the power!



: It's been a long mission, hasn't it?

: No thanks to the rotting windbag who still thinks having a flying castle is cool.

: All right! Now let's get to the Garuberk Tower!



: ...is that a stick or something?



: Oh god I'm standing in raw meat!

: You think that's bad? I'm wearing heels. I'm sinking into raw meat!



: Ew, gross, it's all scabby and covered in pus...

: I think it's best that we don't dwell on what the hell is floating around the air here.



: Oh, come on, stop trying to be grosser and grosser!



: I believe this may be an artery of some sort.



: Woah, Wren, what are you doing? You really shouldn't be ripping this thing apart while we're still inside it!



: Worry not, this appears to be a means of conveyance.

: Uh...you first, kid.



: At least the air's somewhat better up here.

: I'm not fond of all the hardened saliva, though.



: Oh, fuck this shit.





: Next time that happens, I'm going to instant-kill fucking everything.

Yup, Negatis is an wide area instant kill. They really do just heap this stuff on you in this game, don't they?



North of the elevator you'll find this slightly odd looking area. Head left for now.



: Oh, come on. I'm not gonna sleep for weeks, now.

: Eye see you...

: Oh, crap, they've got Raja already? That was painful.



: Before I deal with that, though, I think I need some medication.



: Hey.

: Greetings.



: ...I'm going to poke it.

: Ewwwww!

: Bwarghgable!


And here's the exciting gimmick of the meat tower: Occasionally, you have to poke an eyeball to make walls disappear somewhere else. Remember that odd area I mentioned earlier?



The wall on the right opened up to let us through. There was much wriggling to be seen and heard when we poked it.



While we need to go in that artery, we should keep heading diagonally for now.



: Hey, Rune!

: Absolutely not. I refuse to carry another accursed shield.


The Pow-Shield is actually pretty nifty. It casts Shift when used, and raises the wearer's attack and strength. Unfortunately I'm not really willing to sacrifice any of Chaz's or Rika's weapons to let them wear it.

At any rate, we can hack open that artery now.



Unless these guys have something to say about it. Notice the Hakenleft. Remember the Bladerights from the Air Castle. Perhaps you can see where this is leading eventually.



Oh, and here's a dick move! I didn't even know these guys could do this until today. This would've really sucked in the Air Castle. I fought a ton of these guys going down to Lassic's bedroom.



So, third floor.



Complete with giant axe-wielding maniacs.



Despite being heavily armored, they instant-die pretty easily.



There's a Trimate south of the elevator. I ran out of room for it, but thankfully, SEGA was rather forward-thinking and gave me the option to use a dimate instead of throwing it away to make room. This way I can heal and still get the trimate from one menu. This even works in battles, as I'll show later.

Yeah, it's not that big of a deal, but it's such a cool little feature that, as far as I know, not a single other game has ever implimented before or since.



: You ninnies! You fartfaces! You dum-dums!

: How many times do we have to kill you people?



...alright, I actually have no idea where this is. What's the next screenshot?



Oh, good, it's Juza's second cousin on his mother's side Radhin. Thanks for fucking up my directions, asshole!





: I'm catching up to the Lutz? This almost feels kind of sacriligious!



Oh, okay. We went right at that crossroads after backtracking from the Trimate. Thanks, otherwise-worthless strategy guide!



Nothing to the right. Southwest it is!



We'll skip this tube for now, and wrap around to the south to a different one.



Well, I'll be damned. I think a Chaos Sorceror dropped this. That's pretty splendid of him.



And, as mentioned, this even works in battle.



Complete with animation and everything. Go on. Tell me it's not awesome that they put forth the effort to make that. Try me.



: This isn't getting any less disturbing.



: However, I'll be keeping this.

And there's the best slicer in the game. As the name may imply, it uses Alys' Moonshadow skill when used as an item.



: Hey, can we play with your slicer?

: Uh, no.



: Augh, man, that smells so bad I think I need to take a nap.

: ...what?

Yeah, Bad Smell is this corpse's attempt to make like a Malboro. Ultimately, though, it just targets everyone with a slight chance of falling a sleep.



Alright, back to this elevator we skipped.



This floor constantly shifts and jiggles. It's rather creepy.



And Rika still has her Silver Tusk/Genocyclaw combo going. She'll be pretty much unstopabble against 90% of the enemies we'll face up to the end of the game.



There's a lot of forks in this dungeon, but it still doesn't strike me as being as annoying as the Air Castle. Weird. Anyway, go up slightly and then left.



Notice that the chests in this area are slimed over. Yet another nice touch.



Unfortunately I'm running low on Dimates to use whenever I run out of space. But this is worth it.



Now to continue heading north. The passage will then turn around and head south for almost the entire map.



Finally, though, it turns again and brings us here.



If you're not careful, this whole place can really start to run together on you. Case in point, while writing this, I have no idea where we are.



It doesnt help that it keeps doing shit like this. Head south for a Moon Dew, and then north.



And then Chaz learned his instant-kill technique. From what I can tell, it involves him exploding. Thankfully it has no negative consequences, despite the name.



Artery express!



Ah, good. More questionable oxygen.



: You nerds!

: This truly is hell!



The floor spirals around a bit, but once you get here, head southeast.



There's an escapipe up here, which really isn't worth it. Keep going east.



Don't take this tube just yet.



Take this one instead!



: Nice to see you again.

: ...no puns?

: Lens be friends!

: Argh!



: Owowowowowowowowow!

: Serves you right you creepy eyeball...uh...button.



Now we can head into the previous tube.



: Hey, don't leave me alone here!

: Just keep walking.



And here we are. The last set of elevators/tubes/arteries/conveyances.



Just gotta do some arbitrary upping and downing.



Top floor! To the north is the end. To the southwest is a Star-Dew. Do yourself a favor and grab it.



: Oh, for the love of all that is holy. You again?

BOSS FIGHT: DARK FORCE THE SECOND (Gamevee Viddler)



: Is that Dark Force?!

: It sure is!

: Comparing search data...It is not similar to any object that was on Kuran.

: So there were two Dark Forces?

: Just as Raja said, this is what has been creating havoc on Dezolis! That crazy old green bean was right!

: Crazy old green bean?

: Not just Dezolis. He's messing with the entire Algo solar system!

: Dark Force senses our presence. He is attacking!

: Exactly what we were hoping for!

: We were?

: Let's go, everybody!



: Okay, why did he turn out the lights? We've already seen him.



: Ooh, scary, it's that guy we've just been staring at.

: Gyugh...if there's one thing I hate more than rotting meat structures, it's spiders.



Welcome to the second Dark Force. The usual tactics apply. Barrier, Saner, Warla, and then beat the shit out of him.



Unlike La Shiec and his stooges, Dark Force prefers to hit one character at a time. This generally does over half of their HP in damage, but Kyra's got like 20 Medices and Wren's got plenty of Recovers, so we're never in any real danger.



Bwa ha ha ha I fucking love gra spells!



Here's the real danger in this fight. It's a rather strong full party attack. Of course, it's nothing that Gisar or a Star Dew can't handle.



His only other attack is a single target sleep skill, which doesn't even work the one time he tries it.

A bunch of Rayblades, Efesses, and Doubleslashes later...





Victory!



: Shit shit shit Hinas Hinas Hinas!



: Yes...

: The storm...is over!



: Look at the sky!



: The Black Energy Wave has also stopped. I bet the patients of Meese are already recovering.

: It's finally over.

: Good.



: It's because of your cooperation that this was possible. It was pretty presumptuous of me to think that I could do it alone!

: No problem. I'm glad for you, Kyra!

: Now! I shall return to Meese. There's still a lot of work ahead for me! So long, Chaz. You're quite a darling, just like a baby brother!



: Hee, hee...that's what's so endearing about you. Good-bye, everybody! Good-bye, Lutz! You were a little different from my expectations, but you certainly did not bring shame to your name!

: 'Hey, you didn't fuck up. Good job!' Gee, thanks.

: We'll meet again soon.

: Huh? Oh, oh yes.

: So long! See you later!



: So, what, you have a slicer fetish?

: Shut up, you little prick!

: She called me her baby brother. Am I that undependable?

: Well, you have improved some, but you're still a lot like me!

: ...what?





: You guys never quit, do you! At least try to make sense if you're going to act like children!





: It's Gumbious Temple!!

: I didn't know they had a giant laser cannon there!

: No, you moron. Something just blew up the temple.

: What is going on? We've defeated Dark Force! Although, it's not like that really meant much the first time we did, either.

: Let's go and see!




And so ends the destructive weather of Dezolis. The Garuberk Tower is gone, Gumby temple exploded, and Kyra has left the party. Of course, thanks to you guys doing backflips over her, I kinda miss her too now.

: At least you've still got me!

Damn.




NEXT TIME ON PHANTASY STAR 4

Really old people, archeology, and a complete ignorance of the plot!